When I first started reading blogs, I would do the same thing every time I found a new one: I’d start at the beginning, going through the archives until I found the first post and reading from start to finish, finding out the person’s whole story. I did this with Raechel Myers’ blog and putapuredukes’ blog and yes, my first and favorite blogger, Angie Smith – I did this with her, too. I remember sitting in my dorm room, the summer after I graduated, tears pouring down my face. There was an entire roll of crumpled toilet paper on the floor and desk next to me (listen, I was in college and toilet paper was cheaper than boxes of tissues!) as Angie and Audrey’s story broken my heart.
I started this new blog in June, after a brief conversation I had when I got to meet Angie for the first time. She hugged me and said, “I want to call you “kristaonpurpose” (my twtitter handle) – can I do that?” I laughed and said “Yes! It will be your name for me!” It got me thinking about living life purposefully and how I want to live for God. I love this blog. I love that I have my own .com address.
But what I hate is that I don’t have an archive.
I know that probably sounds pretty ridiculous, but I am Krista, Queen of Ridiculousness. That’s just me being honest, though. The thought, fleeting though it may be, passes through my head sometimes: Why write? There are ten posts on here. You have no story to tell.
I don’t want to be so bold as the say that’s the enemy making me think that, but it’s true: I only have ten posts. I have no archives. And I struggle with the desire that every time I sit down to post or want to post, I stop because I don’t have something deep to write about. I just have mundane stuff to write about. I want the words but I want the depth, too, and if I can’t have them together then I shrug my shoulders and shut the computer screen and skip over the words entirely.
I know, though, that isn’t the way you get archives.
You get them by living.
So here’s to living a purpose-filled life and celebrating life’s moments as they come. They might be boring, and maybe you’ll have to endure some cheesy ten on Tuesday posts or a wordless Wednesday here or there (unlikely, given the fact that I am the least wordless person in Ventura County). Here’s to developing archives that someone can, hopefully, sit through and laugh and cry with some day. (For the record, I am NOT writing so I have an audience or a big following. I’m writing because I want to look back one day and remember who I was in my 20s and 30s and maybe, just maybe, the person going through the archives will be me or my daughters.)
PS If you are reading this, please keep Angie, her twins Abby and Ellie, and the rest of the Compassion crew in prayer as they’re traveling to Peru to share the stories of some awesome families and bless those families while they’re there!