Roller coaster

I can’t believe that today is already October 2. (I partially can’t believe it because it’s approximately 80 – 90 degrees every day, the only variation happening depending on whether I’m in Camarillo or Ventura.) I used to love summer the best. I enjoyed its warmth and I loved that, as a student, I basically had zero (or at least limited) responsibility during that time. I missed school but I enjoyed the days. Growing up in Southern California, it was hard not to enjoy it. The weather was perfect, the beach was literally five minutes away, and my friends were young and didn’t have anything tying them down so we just… hung out.

And then we grew up and summer lost its luster. Sure, I still love it, in no small part because for the last four years, my summers have consisted of three-day weekends, which is as close to my carefree summer days as I could get. But life has changed. I don’t like being hot anymore and I get cranky. All the sunblock I have to slather on my pale skin in order not to get burnt (because before I just ignored the warnings and I burned, and then I grew up and had a friend younger than me diagnosed with melanoma) just makes me feel greasy and sweaty. There are kids and jobs and other adult responsibilities that hold us back now.

I think I have become a fall girl. Truthfully, there is something about every season I’ll cling to. I love to anticipation of what’s ahead. Summer is a time to be idle and reconnect. It’s warm breezes and barbeques and staying up late because the sun doesn’t set early. Fall has the cooler days I’ve learned to love. The air is crisper. It’s a season of transition. Winter holds my favorite holiday and brings me lots of family togetherness. And spring? Spring is more transition, reminding us that life goes on, no matter what. But in all of these, I think I’m becoming a fall girl.

Yet there is something about the fall that makes me a little bit sad, too. This time of year goes by so fast. The first three-quarters of the year, January through the end of September, take so long to get through. Sure, there are lots of fun things, but the build up is slow, like the initial climb on a roller coaster. It’s slow, and you’re holding your breath the entire time, wondering about what will happen when you reach the top. October through December — now that’s the drop. It’s a rush and goes by in a blink. There’s all of this build up, and then before you know it, Halloween has passed and Thanksgiving swings by and there’s all the Christmas glory and letdown (when it’s over) and then the next thing you know, you’re watching the Rose Parade, wondering, “Where the heck did all of that time go?”

I love this time of year, but this year, I want to stop to remember it and live it fully. I want to breath in the air as it changes and do fall things with Charisse and be still and appreciate the moment of now, knowing that it will move so quickly I won’t even know where it’s gone when it’s over.

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3 thoughts on “Roller coaster

  1. Hillary says:

    I love your analogy of the roller coaster build up for the first 3/4s of the year. Totally true. I have made the commitment this year to not be super crabby when it gets cold here. So I have been embracing and actually enjoying the fall weather the last week or two. Enjoying this season and not wishing away the cold, or turning into Scrooge because of it.

    • Krista says:

      Good for you, Hollery. I love the cold but I think if I lived there I might get crabby at a certain point, too. Maybe this will be your last MO winter…

      • Hillary says:

        I tell myself that every year, and it’s never true… so I’ve given up telling myself I will live somewhere warm year round. For now anyway. :)

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